Seriously, I am starting to feel emotionally tired of all these dramas going around lately. And why can’t they learn from lessons? It’s not the first time it has occurred and yet they are still willing to go for a second shot. Well, I wouldn’t say it’s the second shot anymore. As far as I know, this is most probably the fifth shot! They want me to be the “so-called” devil from hell and I did my best on it. And the people who want me to be the “so-called” devil from hell are trying to be angels from heaven. WTF!
I am so emotionally tired that I feel like giving up already. Some people taught me that it’s best to turn a blind eye on these situations, that way I’ll live better. What’s the point of trying so hard to change everything when they are not making any effort to do so even though they were the ones who wanted you to do it? I was talking to a friend, ranting all my dilemmas and complaints about my current job. Well, like what they taught me. There is nothing I can do now when the people above me aren’t making any effort.
Perhaps, I had been thinking too much and pressurize myself. Or maybe not. *sigh* Don’t even feel like thinking about it. The next thing I hate the most is that people asking people how does the staff treat you after you issue them an “ultimatum”? It’s usual that they hate you to the core. And then they asked you: “How do you feel about it?” Let me tell you what! Why should I bother too much of what staff think of me? Let them think that I am the devil from hell trying to sabotage whatever plans they have. I don’t care! If they don’t like how I deal with them, they are free to go.
Some staffs like to take things for granted. When you were nice to them once, they expect you to be like that forever. They don’t appreciate what they were being given. They think of it as a MUST! Sometimes I wonder how long am I able to endure further? 😦
There is no point in lamenting or dwelling over what had happened as there is nothing that I can do to make it right again. Time will tell. I am starting to feel tired of having to think on behalf of others whether this will do any good or bad to them. People don’t appreciate what you did to them. They thought that you were the troublemaker behind all these chaos. If they cannot appreciate what you did for them, what’s the point of helping them? Might as well just let them sink on their own. Sometimes, you have to be evil in order to protect yourself. I am not saying that I am a saint or what, but sometimes it’s just so depressing having to think that people don’t appreciate what you did to them from the very beginning. I’ve sunk once and I will not ever allow myself to go through the same thing ever again. The pain was too much for me to endure for the second time.
And this is one quote which I like a lot for the past couple of months…
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have. – Dale Carnegie
What the f*ck is going on around here? I did as what I was being told and see what I am landed with? A pile of shit which I have to clean up myself. Sometimes, I wonder what’s the point of contribute so many ideas when most of them fall on deaf ears or died in vain? There were times I feel like giving up on this job. I know there is a thing called scarification. But this kind of scarification is too much for anyone to take. I can fully understand now why none of the previous HR was not able to last long in this position. First of all, there is no space for improvement. Second, you deal with kids cat fighting. Third – whenever you proposed something, by the end of the day you would wish that you had never said anything about it. I had been telling myself that it’s too soon to give up. But sometimes, it feels so depressing to work in a stressful environment whereby you have to deal with staff cat fighting most of the time. Things that they can settle on their own. BUT, they left it for HR to clean up their shit!
When I was at my previous job, I had the same situation as well and they were 10 times worst than what I am experiencing now. I planned to quit one year after I joined the company. But then, I got a promotion and I stayed to improve myself so that it will look good on my CV. However, good things don’t last long. Things started to get worst over time. Jealousy or whatever shit, I don’t know. But I kept on telling myself that it’s too quick to give up. But now, I don’t know whether I should keep going on or give up. 😦
Things at work had been pretty hectic lately. Problems seem to be loving me everyday. Can’t they leave me alone for just one day?
Yesterday had been the worst of all days! I have a new staff reporting for work from foreign country yesterday morning. And guess what she told me when she reported to work? “Miss, I have lost my medical report and x-ray film. They were nowhere to be found in my luggage and I couldn’t remember where I misplaced it.” WTF! Out of no choice, I gave the driver who sent her to Brunei a call and have him check his bus whether the new staff had left it in his bus by accident. He told me that he had checked the whole bus and couldn’t find what I am looking for. Fine then. I asked our Company driver to send me to the place where we picked up the new staff the other day in case some cleaners might have picked it up and handed over to the security office of the building. No such luck! So, I gave her agent a call and asked if she could get another duplicate of her medical report and have it send to Brunei as soon as possible. They said they will try to contact the Embassy and see if they could do anything about it.
Few hours later, another new staff came in and requested to change department. She gave me the lamest reason that I had ever heard in my entire life! She told me that she heard rumors from certain some people that it is busy in the department where she is working during Hari Raya Festival. I got so pissed off and snapped back at her. Why can’t these people feel blessed that they have a job right now? The Labor Department is trying to cut down the labor quota for foreign labors. Can’t they even understand that their jobs are currently at stake???!!!
A very warm greeting to you all out there.
It’s been a while since I last blogged, probably more than a year. But never mind, I am back in the blog world again. Yay! 😛
I am just gonna rant about some irrelevant stuffs for the time being till I found any interesting topic to talk about.
Life is boring, as usual. Just started a new job two and a half months ago, which is even more boring. But life still goes on. *sigh*
Anyways, I had my 14th driving lesson this morning. Gonna do my 15th driving lesson on this coming Saturday early in the morning – 7:30a.m. *gulp*
I wasn’t thinking much this morning when my driving instructor informed me about my next driving lesson. 7:30a.m., which is a peak period for working people and I am doing roundabout. *fingers crossed*
I think this is all for now. Till then. Ciao~~~